Della Cory has over 15 years experience with divorced and widowed people. Here are some of the things her clients tell her.
Whether it's due to the death of your spouse or because of divorce, it is definitely shocking to find out that you are suddenly single after years and years of marriage. All those tiny little things that you so took for granted - like your spouse taking out the garbage - have all suddenly vanished, and now suddenly your responsibilities have doubled. Apart from your kids, you're feeling sad and lonely, what with all those long and dreary nights.
Being widowed can be a very traumatic experience, and people who have lost their husbands or wives can be absolutely consumed with grief. Devastating though it may seem for the next few years, the biggest obstacle is adjusting to the changes - coming to terms with being single again and regaining your self-confidence - can be a tremendous struggle.
As the saying goes, to fall in love again, you have to crawl out of your 'hidey hole'! Even if it is a divorce that you're dealing with, it can be as painful. And, if you have been out of the relationship scene for a decade or more, then it is definitely going to be tough trying to adjust to this new world of solo survival and relationship seeking. But, if you want to get back into the game, then here are a few ways to make yourself look like a star so as to attract the right partner.
First, you have to start by taking stock of your emotions. If you're feeling guilty and beating your self up, then you should stop. Nobody deserves to be wounded, especially if the injuries are self-inflicted. Get rid off your past and prepare yourself to move on. The best way to attract an interesting partner is to be confident. No one wants to be with someone who isn't very sure about the relationship and who's constantly thinking about the past. So, make sure you're over your ex-spouse.
To put it shortly, for a single, mature woman who's just lost her husband, preparing for company would mean wiping the lipstick stains off the coffee cups. For a single, mature man preparing for company would mean keeping the toilet seat down, after use. So, get started with preparing yourself first. Once you are prepared, you'll automatically radiate a self-confident, ' I'm ready-for-commitment', 'bring-it-on' attitude, which can be rather appealing to the opposite sex.
Seek out different ways to meet and socialise with people your age, it'll work wonders for your social life. Realise that you have learnt and experienced a lot and that you've gone through many years of happy marriage. Understand that you are blessed with a good sense of humor and that you are still as attractive to the opposite sex as you were twenty years ago. Make peace with your past and grab your future by the horns and you'll see the difference that this attitude will bring about in your love life.
Go through your phone book and cross out all the people who are already taken. Contact all your old friends and make conversation, but steer clear of sounding pitiful and desperate. Make dinner dates with interesting prospects and remember, always dress to kill. Go to all those clubs and pubs that you would frequent when you were younger, as most of these places are rife with opportunities.
Appearances are very important when you're getting into the whole dating scene so it is very important to go through a makeover. Seek professional help or call over a few close friends to help you out. From Internet dating to speed dating, the places to find prospective mates are endless. The secret to attracting these prospective mates lies in yourself - what kind of an image you portray.
Ok, so now that you're in the game, you need to ask yourself whether it's another marriage that you're looking for or whether you're just out to date. Remember, life can be a joyride, but it can also be your worst nightmare if you don't know how to handle it. Everyone wants to find someone, no matter what age they are. And, this certainly includes you!
Interested parties can contact Della personally. All members receive free dating and relationship advice says Della. Memebers only have to ask. Interested?
Article by Della Cory