Article by Leonie Brasier

Sometimes after separation or divorce, parents find themselves living in different towns, states or even countries to their children. This adds another level of complexity in maintaining relationships with them and in parenting from a distance.

Sometimes parents feel overwhelmed by the distance and query if it is worth it - would the kid be better off just cutting all ties? There are plenty of studies that say they would not be better off. Children have right to know and be cared for by both parents. Hang in there. Even long distance you are still their parent and no matter where they live, they still need you and need to know that they are loved and valued by you.

Depending on your child's age, even when not living close, geographically, there are different things you can do to build your relationship.

Some ideas are:

Phone calls - Regular, frequent calls are best. Make sure they fit in with the kids' routines, rather than disrupt homework or meal or bed times.

Letters - Send stamped self addressed envelopes so your child can easily reply.

Email and internet -  If you don't have a computer, you can access one for free at local libraries or community centres.

Audio and videotapes -  Read your child's favourite story onto tape for them to listen to again and again. Send videos of family, sporting events.

Send small presents -  Don't be a "Santa" parent and try and buy love. Small thoughtful presents mean more, e.g. Books, "collectables" such as stamps, sports cards etc. Share and encourage your child's interests. Little things that show you are thinking of them

Photos - of you, them, all of you together, sharing good times.

These are just a few ideas. You and your children will be able to think of more ways in which you can package little bits of the everyday and keep the relationships strong between the face to face meetings.

Hopefully, the other parent will assist keeping up the long distance relationship this way. Not all do and if you are having trouble negotiating such arrangements and need assistance with this or other family law matters, contact Leonie Brasier from Yarra Legal.