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Decision to Divorce
One of the most challenging areas of Divorce is the decision itself.
Everyone is different and will make their decision based on the balance of circumstances they are faced with. The following is not advising you one way or the other it is designed to assist you in asking the right questions of yourself before jumping into the decision.
There are a few things that you need to consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a decision. When making serious decisions, having an open mind and listing all the things involved in your decision about divorce, will help make the process a little simpler.
Decision Item 1: Making sure that you are emotionally ready to commit to a decision.
Your emotions cloud your ability to reason or use logic. Not being really ready to decide about whether to get a divorce because of emotional uncertainty will be a serious obstacle. If you aren't ready to handle the emotional pain of what could be a "life changing" event like deciding on divorce, wait until you can before going through your divorce decision process.
Decision Item 2: Make sure that the reasons for divorce that you've listed regarding why you think you want a divorce are indeed valid.
Too often people make the mistake of wanting to get a divorce for invalid reasons. This comes from being wrapped up with the idea of being hurt and focusing on one's self rather than separating the actual events from the end results.
Yes, it is very tough to elevate your thinking and be seemingly autonomous to your own situation. It is often impossible to do. If you can look at your situation with someone else in your place, you'll be closer to the real answer that you want.
Decision Item 3: Understanding your sense of self-confidence, ability to be 'self sustaining' with finances or other material things, and your desire to 'start over' are all unwavering.
This mix of considerations about divorce can be overpowering for some people when they try to 'break away' or make the decision about getting a divorce.
If your overall confidence and desire to start over with your love life support making a change, you're off to a good start in making a smart decision about whether to divorce or not.
Decision Item 4: Determining who else your divorce decision will affect and how much weight that carries in your decision making formula about divorce.
This item to consider when thinking about divorce is one of the primary things that can lead a person to a decision, one way or another. Children, in-laws, common friends, etc., all will be affected by what you do regarding your action as a result of you truly answering the question,
When making your decision about staying married or getting divorced, you should look to the future and decide whether your decision will improve or decrease your quality of life and the quality of life of those that will be affected. Be very careful when assessing this situation...make sure that you use logic and not emotion when evaluating your thoughts.
Making a divorce decision is a serious and difficult task because it is complex, deeply self-reflective, and frightening due to the length of time it can affect you and others around you.
Make sure that you have your thoughts organized and prioritised and you take your time in making a decision.
If in any doubt please seek the help of a professional counsellor before proceeding. |