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Your Relationship Map
Our relationships never exist in isolation! One relationship always affects others.
If (one of) your closest relationships has ended you could be excused for feeling like you have nothing left or that your life has been ripped apart and left empty.
But our relationships never exist in isolation! At a time like this it may help to have a look at all the other relationships in your life.
You may wonder how your other relationships will be affected by the breakdown of a significant relationship – and you are right to wonder because every relationship always affects others.
But the good news is that the effect is not always negative and we often fear a more negative response than we get.
The Relationship Map below is one way to visualise your relational world – it gives you an overview of more than one important relationship in your life at the moment.
Your Relationship Map
On the diagram above, the centre represents yourself. There are three areas of your life; family, social and work/school (you can add to or re-label them if you wish).
We all have significant people in these areas of our lives – some of them we feel close to, others more distant.
Print off or draw your own copy of the diagram. Mark how far you feel from each of the significant people in your life. The person you are closest to would be marked next to your circle, others are further out. Use a square for men and a circle for women. Don’t forget to name each mark.
You might like to start with your family. Begin with your immediate family. How close are you right now to mother, father, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters? Next add, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, nieces and others. Don’t spend too much time measuring where to place each person – often your spontaneous placement will help most.
Now move on to the social and work areas and map them in a similar way.
When you have finished drawing the map, take a few minutes to look at it…
What are your first impressions of your relationship map?
How does it make you feel?
Does seeing your relationships this way make you want to do something?
Where are your supportive relationships?
Who would you talk to about personal things?
Supplementary Exercise
Compared with 2 years ago (or a suitable time frame), do you feel closer to or further away from each individual on your map? Draw an arrow next to each person pointing towards you if you feel closer now than some time ago (or draw the arrow pointing away from you if you feel that you are moving apart).
Additional Help
You may like to talk to a trained counsellor about this exercise. If you live in the Sydney/Newcastle area of Australia you can contact Relational Coaching in the Counselling section of the idont.com.au directory for an appointment.
Acknowledgement
Relational Coaching was introduced to this method of relationship mapping by Dr Michael Schluter of Relationship Foundation, www.relationshipsfoundation.org Many thanks, Michael.
©Relational Coaching 2006. Used by permission. |