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Meeting the kids of the dad you are dating.
 It isn’t always a given that you’ll meet the children of the dad you’re dating and the decision is ultimately his, because they are his children. You also have the right to say you’re not ready. When dating someone with children it seems right to meet them as soon as possible, but this is when problems can occur because the reality of involving them in your relationship can be too much for some.
Sometimes the relationship isn’t serious enough to consider meeting his children. If you both understand that it’s just for a bit of fun, with no chance of a long term future, it may be best not to meet the kids at all. That way you don’t have to deal with all the complications that meeting his children can bring and can concentrate on enjoying each other’s company. You may not mind meeting them and he may not mind introducing you to them, but they are only children and may find the concept of getting to know you, only to have you disappear from their lives confusing. It pays to be certain there’s at least the possibility of a future before meeting them so the chance of you disappearing from their lives is minimized.
If you’re both dating with the possibility of a long term future in mind, then you may, after several dates and armed with a feeling that it may go the distance, meet them. Any relationship involving a parent that is heading towards becoming a long term one will eventually require that you meet them.
Sometimes the time to consider if you should or shouldn’t meet the kids is a luxury you won’t be given to you because he has full time custody and is always with them. It may be that the only way to date this dad in particular is to endure an early meeting and hope for the best. You have no choice in this situation but to go for it or get out. If they guy is worth it, give it a try.
If you do decide to meet them:
· Make sure it is on neutral territory, preferably at a place they enjoy;
· Don’t introduce yourself as their dad’s girlfriend, as this places pressure on them to like you. Let their dad explain that you are a friend he’d like them to meet;
· Don’t try too hard. Back off and give them time to observe you;
· Don’t touch or kiss their dad too much. Kids can’t handle their parents behaving like that in front of them, let alone a parent and a virtual stranger!
Article by Jo Abi.
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